Sammy the Snake


This is the tale of Sammy the Snake.

The snake who had a tummy ache.

All night long he'd lain awake

wondering what medicine to take.

But then he began to feel much better,

so he put on his favourite sweater,

then went out to post a letter

to his girlfriend, Marietta.

On his way back from Crystal Palace,

he ran into a man called Alice,

drinking fake blood out of a chalice,

and he said, "I am not worthy!"

And Alice said, "Hey, this isn't Waynes World"

"Come live with me and be my Love

And happy we will be,

just wrap your coils around my neck

and come to Mum's for tea.

We'll build a cottage in the woods

And cuddle by the fire

I'll lick your scales for many an hour,

Until we both retire"

And Sammy said, "Way"

And Alice said, "No way..

Things aren't always what they seem"

'Cos Sammy was only having a dream.

He woke with a start, and let out a scream

He'd crawled into the fridge and was covered
in cream

His Mummy said, "Sammy, now look here Son,

This sleep-slithering is really not on.

You've done it for years, since you were one,

and you think it's a laugh - you do it for fun

But I've had enough, the end is begun"

And she blew his brains out
with a powerful gun.

©The Poetic Priestess 1992-1993